Did you ever wonder where Sega, Nintendo and Lucas Film get the ideas for their products? Here is the answer.

By Martin Gummert, October 99

Driving in Indonesia is a bit different than driving in other parts of the world. Coming from the Philippines, where we stayed for around 7 years, we were prepared for everything. But in Indonesia they drive on the wrong side of the road – so what. I have also had driven in the UK, Thailand and in New Zealand where they also follow the strange habit of installing the steering wheel at passengers seat. Besides bewildered views of the locals when turning after using the windshield wipers and when using the blinker while first raindrops hit the windshield – no problem.

Indonesia is different. Take a seat in your car. Start the engine and warm it up in idle, at least that is what many Indonesian drivers do. Is it so bitterly cold in the tropics? Or maybe just because you need to get mentally prepared for the ride, have a meditative break first to get ready. Ready for the mission? Relaxed and cool? Remember the basic rule, the scenery in front of you is important, don’t bother about behind. When you think the engine is warm enough you are ready to go. Maybe you should also test the most important component of your car, the horn, before you leave. Anything at you car can be broken and you can still go but never drive without a functioning horn.

When finally on the road you need total concentration. You are driving on the left side so on theory you should stay as much left as possible except when overtaking. Not so in Indonesia. If you are on a four lane road take the fast lane, even (or especially) if you are moving slower than the others, since it is the safest lane. Or better, just use both lanes by taking the middle marker between you wheels. That way you prevent the ones behind you from messing with you by overtaking. While driving, you will continuously experience the following situations: A car turning without indicating it or even having the left blinker activated when turning right. Overtaking cars cutting in. Cars coming towards you on your lane and cutting curves. Cars, motorcycles or becaks (bicycle rikshas) entering the road with snail-speed in 90 degree angle with drivers looking straight ahead and not noticing you. Often they go without looking from the very left to the very right lane since that is the safest one as pointed out above. Cars driving on your lane but coming towards you head to head. The same can happen with motorcycles carrying whole families consisting of two adults and three kids. Motorcycle drivers loosing their helmets, of which they removed the fastening straps, and then breaking abruptly for recovery. Pedestrians crossing the road randomly. Hundred and fify horsepower four wheel drive cars crawling around with 10 kilometers per hour but honking continuously since one might otherwise overlook their humble appearance. Mini busses used for public transportation whose drivers think that customer service is equivalent with dropping and picking up customers anywhere and anytime even in the middle of a busy four lane road. Big busses whose drivers think they are in war and have to use smoke generators to make the vehicle invisible for the enemy. Greedy policemen trying to identify you as a foreigner and coming up with all kind of ridiculous charges to convince you that you better top up their salary or otherwise their colleagues will give you a jolly good time at the police office. And all this happens against a tremendous background noise since the general perception is the louder a vehicle is the faster it actually moves. At nights many cars don’t have lights. But the coolest thing I have seen so far was headlights that were colored red.

The first couple of weeks I found it very tiresome and stressful to drive until recently when I went to an arcade with several Sega computer games. After trying out various action games where you have to steer your fighter spaceship through outer space with obstacles such as meteorites, friendly ships and enemy ships I realized: Hey, this is like driving in Indonesia. This thought revolutionized my driving. Every time when I get in the car I become Calvin and the world around me becomes the outer space. The Kijang becomes my little fighter spaceship and the button for the horn the trigger of the laser gun. The mission is to go from A to B without hitting anything. Random meteorites. Hallucinating space travelers getting in your way from all directions. Large transport spaceships badly maintained and falling apart leaving dangerous smoke and debris behind. And if there happens to be some enemy spaceship approaching you head to head you just fire your laser gun.

Arrived? Survived? The spacecraft mutated back into the Kijang. Don’t forget to step strongly on the accelerator while you are turning the key to shut the engine down. That way you make sure that the engine is OK and revs well so you won’t have unpleasant surprises when you start it again tomorrow. As an additional positive effect the injected, unburned gasoline will nicely wash off the oil film from the cylinder walls and pistons, which the car will appreciate. Or do you want to go to bed with greasy hair?